Something that often saddens me is the way people throw around the word "Love." It's all about love; love, love, love. I hear this from people of all walks of life, but it is never real love. It always means something like: I love everyone as long as they benefit me, I love everyone as long as they love me, or I tolerate any idea or belief so people won't be mad at me.
Lately I have been thinking about the butterfly effect. Not the kind that violates the laws of physics, but the kind that deals with people. I find that few understand the verse in Romans that says, "We do not war against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities." Paul was not lying, yet in every conflict I see someone has to be the perpetrator; someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Who cares about why that person is behaving a certain way? Who cares what he or she has been through, or grew up with? Who care about what they are feeling, and the person they are to become? Do you know what makes a "bad person?" It takes enough "good people" to convince them that that is what they are.
I'm tired of judgement and apathy. There is so much to be done, but we are so preoccupied with our own selfish needs, and our stupid careers, and meaningless pursuits. There is a God who is waiting to use us to turn this world into a better place, but we all have some philosophy that can stamp out any remnant of faith or hope in what is just. It is as if everything is literally the opposite of what it should be. Those with faith are sitting in fancy buildings eating finger sandwiches and analyzing text (if it is not too taxing of course). Our intelligent youth are being taught every reason we should live for ourselves, instead of others. The innocent population of the world is being tortured and shamed for it.
If there is one thing I can say for sure after two decades of life it is that we have a powerful God who can overcome anything. There is hope for humanity, if your faith is in Jesus.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Post-Finals Pre-Summer
My last final was today, and my thoughts are on the things to come.
I have read almost halfway through a book called, "The Johns," which is written from the perspective of a journalist on men who purchase sex. Now a crucial stage in every person's spiritual journey is the point at which they learn that they are not the judge, and therefore have no right to do so. For this reason I have always disliked it when women made insensitive comments about lewd men. By no means would I ever condone sexual immorality, but when one person passes judgement on another it is because they fail to understand the weakness of that person. This is always hypocritical because most people so easily overlook their own weaknesses because they understand what it means to have that weakness. From the same lips may also come a remark that metaphorically castrates males like, "boys will be boys." I'm not about to give a lecture about male identity, there are plenty out there, but it needs to be said: Men should be empowered to overcome their weaknesses, not told that they are sex crazed animals.
Alright, the actual purpose of this post is to talk about two important parts of prevention that I have not seen used before (and I believe necessary). The first is rather obvious. Sex education. Secularized sex education is awkward; essentially we are taught that you either have self control or you don't, if you can't control yourself you need to be safe, so use a condom. That.. is so far off base. Okay sex is not a bad or a shameful thing, God made sex. Right now your saying, "Connor is in that time of life where he thinks about these things, I already know this." Really? Do you? Are you ready to talk to your pre-adolescents about masturbation? Are you ready to talk with your husband and your kids about pornography? The later I will add, I will not suggest is wrong, it is wrong. I will tell you it is wrong. And this is why. (Granted I am gleaning this information from interviews and books without having a real understanding of middle aged life). The most intriguing part of this book I'm reading is the one that talks about married men. One reason that men interviewed in this book gave for going to a prostitute is because they can have sex with their wife, but they want nasty sex. I probably should put a warning somewhere that I am a rather blunt person, I'm sorry if this entire post makes you uncomfortable. Anyway, would it be far-fetched of me to blame this on pornography? Where else would masses of men get the fantasies they do? Once more, a talk about pornography is not the purpose of this blog, you can find many elsewhere.
Another common account of men who purchase sex looks something like this, "I got married and it was great for a few years, and then my wife stopped caring about the way she looked, complained of a perpetual headache whenever I was in the mood, and just generally complained all the time." Now I'm sure the men had their own inadequacies, but this post is not about the give and take of a marriage. People are expected to provide financially, emotionally, and a myriad of other things for their spouses and family. So why is it acceptable to have a sexual fallout in a marriage? Nuerochemically it is no different than any other desire, it is no more selfish than anything else expected in marriage. I am definitely not trying to shirk male responsibility, but I just wonder the damage it could do to the sex industry if married couples actually fulfilled each other. And maybe if they added a little... er.. variety. Now, my final addition to this; I know that none of this is monumental, maybe I am just in a "time of life." Men need to be affirmed, sex is a very emotional thing for males in which their spouse can express their admiration and love. That said, sex is not the only place that is expressed. Men need respect and admiration, and loathe nagging.
The point of all of that was simply to say that perhaps a lot of prevention could be done in the area of marriage and family therapy.
I have read almost halfway through a book called, "The Johns," which is written from the perspective of a journalist on men who purchase sex. Now a crucial stage in every person's spiritual journey is the point at which they learn that they are not the judge, and therefore have no right to do so. For this reason I have always disliked it when women made insensitive comments about lewd men. By no means would I ever condone sexual immorality, but when one person passes judgement on another it is because they fail to understand the weakness of that person. This is always hypocritical because most people so easily overlook their own weaknesses because they understand what it means to have that weakness. From the same lips may also come a remark that metaphorically castrates males like, "boys will be boys." I'm not about to give a lecture about male identity, there are plenty out there, but it needs to be said: Men should be empowered to overcome their weaknesses, not told that they are sex crazed animals.
Alright, the actual purpose of this post is to talk about two important parts of prevention that I have not seen used before (and I believe necessary). The first is rather obvious. Sex education. Secularized sex education is awkward; essentially we are taught that you either have self control or you don't, if you can't control yourself you need to be safe, so use a condom. That.. is so far off base. Okay sex is not a bad or a shameful thing, God made sex. Right now your saying, "Connor is in that time of life where he thinks about these things, I already know this." Really? Do you? Are you ready to talk to your pre-adolescents about masturbation? Are you ready to talk with your husband and your kids about pornography? The later I will add, I will not suggest is wrong, it is wrong. I will tell you it is wrong. And this is why. (Granted I am gleaning this information from interviews and books without having a real understanding of middle aged life). The most intriguing part of this book I'm reading is the one that talks about married men. One reason that men interviewed in this book gave for going to a prostitute is because they can have sex with their wife, but they want nasty sex. I probably should put a warning somewhere that I am a rather blunt person, I'm sorry if this entire post makes you uncomfortable. Anyway, would it be far-fetched of me to blame this on pornography? Where else would masses of men get the fantasies they do? Once more, a talk about pornography is not the purpose of this blog, you can find many elsewhere.
Another common account of men who purchase sex looks something like this, "I got married and it was great for a few years, and then my wife stopped caring about the way she looked, complained of a perpetual headache whenever I was in the mood, and just generally complained all the time." Now I'm sure the men had their own inadequacies, but this post is not about the give and take of a marriage. People are expected to provide financially, emotionally, and a myriad of other things for their spouses and family. So why is it acceptable to have a sexual fallout in a marriage? Nuerochemically it is no different than any other desire, it is no more selfish than anything else expected in marriage. I am definitely not trying to shirk male responsibility, but I just wonder the damage it could do to the sex industry if married couples actually fulfilled each other. And maybe if they added a little... er.. variety. Now, my final addition to this; I know that none of this is monumental, maybe I am just in a "time of life." Men need to be affirmed, sex is a very emotional thing for males in which their spouse can express their admiration and love. That said, sex is not the only place that is expressed. Men need respect and admiration, and loathe nagging.
The point of all of that was simply to say that perhaps a lot of prevention could be done in the area of marriage and family therapy.
Latvia and Summer 2012
Well. It is quite apparent that I am not diligent when it comes to writing (not that this was a secret), I started this blog a year ago and just finished my first post... from a year ago.
Anyway, I will be using this blog to detail my thoughts and experiences over the course of the summer, especially for my time in Latvia. I will be flying to Riga, Latvia on June 23rd, for an internship at a ministry that aims to help girls who have been trafficked for the purpose of sexual exploitation. This is a brand new ministry that, according to the resident missionary Lysette, we may be instrumental in shaping. Thus far, the ministry has focused on providing for the girls in a material way, such as feeding them and providing blankets to keep warm. We as a group will be serving in this way but we will have many other roles. We will be visiting orphan camps, and also reaching out to sex tourists (Americans and Europeans who have come specifically to pay for sex). Some of what will do will be exciting and come of what we will do will be mundane but I am going this summer as a student of justice and of ministry. I will update this blog as much as I can throughout the summer and my internship.
Anyway, I will be using this blog to detail my thoughts and experiences over the course of the summer, especially for my time in Latvia. I will be flying to Riga, Latvia on June 23rd, for an internship at a ministry that aims to help girls who have been trafficked for the purpose of sexual exploitation. This is a brand new ministry that, according to the resident missionary Lysette, we may be instrumental in shaping. Thus far, the ministry has focused on providing for the girls in a material way, such as feeding them and providing blankets to keep warm. We as a group will be serving in this way but we will have many other roles. We will be visiting orphan camps, and also reaching out to sex tourists (Americans and Europeans who have come specifically to pay for sex). Some of what will do will be exciting and come of what we will do will be mundane but I am going this summer as a student of justice and of ministry. I will update this blog as much as I can throughout the summer and my internship.
Introduction & The Post-Finals Camping Trip
(May 2011)
Introduction
The two-fold purpose of this blog is to keep in touch with friends, and to file thoughts that would otherwise get deleted. The former was initiated by a group of friends, while camping; I believe it was Christi Maurer's idea. The other participants of this trip were, ChrisP, Lizzy, and Jenny. (Chris Pollastro, Elizabeth Bernhardt, and Jennifer Feise.)
Post-Finals Camping Trip
For those who went on this trip this will be the fifth account, and I doubt mine will be nearly as entertaining!(Yay, conformity!)?
The logistic of the trip were taken care of Jennifer, and the equipment Christoper, camping extraordinaire.
My first semester at ACU my roommate was... from a different background to say the least. He would play video games (at full volume) all night, or have his friends over all night, and held this as his right as a resident of the room. I spent many nights sleeping in the lobby; it was not a pretty situation. The following semester Chris's roommate Bobby had to leave, and we were generally becoming better friends, so I moved in (Hallelujah!).
Chris and I got pretty close that semester, and did we have some fun times! We were so ridiculous and silly, and learned from each other too. I do not know if Chris reciprocates this, but I know I have really enjoyed watching him grow. Chris has typically been more mature than I and his personal development often inspires my own. Something I admire in all of the friends mentioned in this blog is they are not afraid to vocalize their development. Ever since I was a child I had some strange aversion to admitting this. I always wanted to appear ahead of the curve as if I had born with all the wisdom everyone else learns with experience. I have however, been incorporating this with the implicit help of my comrades.
Anyway, I was speaking about Chris... He is an honorable, generous, kind, peaceable, compassionate, and Godly man whom I have a great deal of respect for. One of his defining characteristics is a critical fairness so to speak. I remember he majored in Journalism and personified it. He reviews products, and arguments, and everything under the sun with the most unbiased opinion he can conjure. What makes this a defining characteristic is how this overflows into his social life. His relationships, conflicts, (etc...), he removes himself from the equation and thinks of the other person or people. I could rant on about how much I love Chris and how amazing he is but the point is that I miss(ed) him and that was simply one thing that made this trip so great. That summer I received a text that he could not return to ACU. I was ever so sad, part of the reason I was looking forward to the next year was rooming with Chris again. Alas, it was not meant to be and unsurprisingly I greatly longed for his return!
So... the trip up. This could be summed up with the experience of banana + strawberry + chocolate. It is the predominant memory because it was possibly the best sensory experience I've had in my life. Okay, that's a bit of a hyperbole, but we had some really good food over the trip! Oatmeal with fruit and nuts is now among my favorite breakfasts. Ah, we gorged on chocolate and peanut butter, there was blueberry and raspberry jam, mango, and apple, and clementines; so much goodness!
Another objective of the trip was to spend time with friends who were just busy most of the time. That would probably be everyone but me. Christi is Christi (enough said), Elizabeth had more essays than I've written in my life in a period of a few weeks, and Jennifer worked about 30+(?) hours every week in addition to her school work (She was taking easy classes anyway... like advanced nutrition hehe ;P). So even the ride up was a lot of fun, I really enjoy spending time with these girls and there is never enough of it! We spent most the time talking about health, nutrition, summer plans, and things of that nature; combined with strawberries it was bliss!
I must admit however that I was missing Anthea (the most wonderful person in the world) terribly. I tried my very best throughout the trip not to mention or think about her as the urge to start whining was ever present! There was a point at witch we were all going to sleep when I jokingly grabbed Chris's hand and said, "I'm just going to pretend I'm holding Anthea's hand." The sad part was that I was only partially kidding (it wasn't the same anyway). The trip was more or less unaffected by the groaning of a pathetic soul luckily, and it was all together wonderful!
I'm glad Jennifer took care of most of the trip it really made all of our lives quite easy! She also paid the most out of pocket; sure everyone paid twelve dollars but the trip certainly cost a little more than sixty dollars! Jennifer is a ball of fun a good friend to boot! (I don't mean to copy you Christi, but I thought I might as well describe the people important to me if I'm writing a blog.) The first thing that strikes you with Jennifer if her incredible friendliness; the second, or at least for me was that like me, she is very opinionated. Energetic (as already noted), dependable, and loyal. The memory that comes to mind is... the moonlight swim. Ha! The water really was quite warm, but ignorance kills. I have little knowledge of what dwells in eastern Texas waters, especially at night. A series of splashes before and after entrance to the water made me uneasy. After a few minutes in the water I heard odd noises, and upon inspection saw that one of the splashes had a wake that appeared to be moving towards us. I was done with feeling uneasy so I got out, the girls followed also (Elizabeth and Jennifer.) The other two apparently were throwing rocks in the lake trying to get us out (Jerks!). An older couple were walking about, closer to the road, and Jennifer in her excitement had to tell them about the fantastic encounter we had. It was fantastic.
Elizabeth drove us to the campsite, and also to the airport though it was out of her way. This is typical however, Elizabeth is always going out of her way for others. I often wonder what the motivation for this is. (My over-arching motivation for nearly everything, from getting up in the morning to my vision for career, is that if I can I can minimize the suffering of others than my own life becomes worth the cost.) I can also see that she gets flustered when others are thinking purely selfishly, and rightly so (primarily in their dealing with those who are not herself.) I remember on the trip over coming to the revelation that in order to satiate the desires of Elizabeth one must make that desire their own. Though perhaps the easiest to identify, this is not my favorite attribute of Elizabeth. Besides being outrageously selfless, she is also one of the best conversationalists I know. She doesn't just make conversation well, she understands, being verbally superior, how to take the inadequate word salad that is one's description and translate it into the English language. She knows how to find the words, and also the witty ones in most situations. I remember having a very amusing late night conversation, Elizabeth and I both in bouts of insomnia. I wish I could recall the contents of the conversation specifically, but I do remember it being about four AM when we decided it was time to depart. We certainly need more of those!
---One year later---
Hmm, I never finished or published this, too bad, I can not remember enough to add anymore. I would feel bad publishing this skipping someone entirely so I will write a more current update.
Fitting since I have gotten to know Christi much better this semester. Christi is the most quiet and enigmatic of the bunch. She spends a lot of time studying so she is very much an honored guest at group functions. While she might disagree, we actually have a lot in common; we are both mischievous, introspective, and require a lot of time alone (for starters). I recall several times when God has used Christi in my life at critical moments (unbeknownst to her). I would be in a completely different place if not for her. She has very much inspired our group of friends to go to new spiritual heights and reach for more in relationships with Jesus. Her struggles and musings have often been critical in my journey. I hope to see more of Christi next fall, it will be her last at ACU!
Introduction
The two-fold purpose of this blog is to keep in touch with friends, and to file thoughts that would otherwise get deleted. The former was initiated by a group of friends, while camping; I believe it was Christi Maurer's idea. The other participants of this trip were, ChrisP, Lizzy, and Jenny. (Chris Pollastro, Elizabeth Bernhardt, and Jennifer Feise.)
Post-Finals Camping Trip
For those who went on this trip this will be the fifth account, and I doubt mine will be nearly as entertaining!(Yay, conformity!)?
The logistic of the trip were taken care of Jennifer, and the equipment Christoper, camping extraordinaire.
My first semester at ACU my roommate was... from a different background to say the least. He would play video games (at full volume) all night, or have his friends over all night, and held this as his right as a resident of the room. I spent many nights sleeping in the lobby; it was not a pretty situation. The following semester Chris's roommate Bobby had to leave, and we were generally becoming better friends, so I moved in (Hallelujah!).
Chris and I got pretty close that semester, and did we have some fun times! We were so ridiculous and silly, and learned from each other too. I do not know if Chris reciprocates this, but I know I have really enjoyed watching him grow. Chris has typically been more mature than I and his personal development often inspires my own. Something I admire in all of the friends mentioned in this blog is they are not afraid to vocalize their development. Ever since I was a child I had some strange aversion to admitting this. I always wanted to appear ahead of the curve as if I had born with all the wisdom everyone else learns with experience. I have however, been incorporating this with the implicit help of my comrades.
Anyway, I was speaking about Chris... He is an honorable, generous, kind, peaceable, compassionate, and Godly man whom I have a great deal of respect for. One of his defining characteristics is a critical fairness so to speak. I remember he majored in Journalism and personified it. He reviews products, and arguments, and everything under the sun with the most unbiased opinion he can conjure. What makes this a defining characteristic is how this overflows into his social life. His relationships, conflicts, (etc...), he removes himself from the equation and thinks of the other person or people. I could rant on about how much I love Chris and how amazing he is but the point is that I miss(ed) him and that was simply one thing that made this trip so great. That summer I received a text that he could not return to ACU. I was ever so sad, part of the reason I was looking forward to the next year was rooming with Chris again. Alas, it was not meant to be and unsurprisingly I greatly longed for his return!
So... the trip up. This could be summed up with the experience of banana + strawberry + chocolate. It is the predominant memory because it was possibly the best sensory experience I've had in my life. Okay, that's a bit of a hyperbole, but we had some really good food over the trip! Oatmeal with fruit and nuts is now among my favorite breakfasts. Ah, we gorged on chocolate and peanut butter, there was blueberry and raspberry jam, mango, and apple, and clementines; so much goodness!
Another objective of the trip was to spend time with friends who were just busy most of the time. That would probably be everyone but me. Christi is Christi (enough said), Elizabeth had more essays than I've written in my life in a period of a few weeks, and Jennifer worked about 30+(?) hours every week in addition to her school work (She was taking easy classes anyway... like advanced nutrition hehe ;P). So even the ride up was a lot of fun, I really enjoy spending time with these girls and there is never enough of it! We spent most the time talking about health, nutrition, summer plans, and things of that nature; combined with strawberries it was bliss!
I must admit however that I was missing Anthea (the most wonderful person in the world) terribly. I tried my very best throughout the trip not to mention or think about her as the urge to start whining was ever present! There was a point at witch we were all going to sleep when I jokingly grabbed Chris's hand and said, "I'm just going to pretend I'm holding Anthea's hand." The sad part was that I was only partially kidding (it wasn't the same anyway). The trip was more or less unaffected by the groaning of a pathetic soul luckily, and it was all together wonderful!
I'm glad Jennifer took care of most of the trip it really made all of our lives quite easy! She also paid the most out of pocket; sure everyone paid twelve dollars but the trip certainly cost a little more than sixty dollars! Jennifer is a ball of fun a good friend to boot! (I don't mean to copy you Christi, but I thought I might as well describe the people important to me if I'm writing a blog.) The first thing that strikes you with Jennifer if her incredible friendliness; the second, or at least for me was that like me, she is very opinionated. Energetic (as already noted), dependable, and loyal. The memory that comes to mind is... the moonlight swim. Ha! The water really was quite warm, but ignorance kills. I have little knowledge of what dwells in eastern Texas waters, especially at night. A series of splashes before and after entrance to the water made me uneasy. After a few minutes in the water I heard odd noises, and upon inspection saw that one of the splashes had a wake that appeared to be moving towards us. I was done with feeling uneasy so I got out, the girls followed also (Elizabeth and Jennifer.) The other two apparently were throwing rocks in the lake trying to get us out (Jerks!). An older couple were walking about, closer to the road, and Jennifer in her excitement had to tell them about the fantastic encounter we had. It was fantastic.
Elizabeth drove us to the campsite, and also to the airport though it was out of her way. This is typical however, Elizabeth is always going out of her way for others. I often wonder what the motivation for this is. (My over-arching motivation for nearly everything, from getting up in the morning to my vision for career, is that if I can I can minimize the suffering of others than my own life becomes worth the cost.) I can also see that she gets flustered when others are thinking purely selfishly, and rightly so (primarily in their dealing with those who are not herself.) I remember on the trip over coming to the revelation that in order to satiate the desires of Elizabeth one must make that desire their own. Though perhaps the easiest to identify, this is not my favorite attribute of Elizabeth. Besides being outrageously selfless, she is also one of the best conversationalists I know. She doesn't just make conversation well, she understands, being verbally superior, how to take the inadequate word salad that is one's description and translate it into the English language. She knows how to find the words, and also the witty ones in most situations. I remember having a very amusing late night conversation, Elizabeth and I both in bouts of insomnia. I wish I could recall the contents of the conversation specifically, but I do remember it being about four AM when we decided it was time to depart. We certainly need more of those!
---One year later---
Hmm, I never finished or published this, too bad, I can not remember enough to add anymore. I would feel bad publishing this skipping someone entirely so I will write a more current update.
Fitting since I have gotten to know Christi much better this semester. Christi is the most quiet and enigmatic of the bunch. She spends a lot of time studying so she is very much an honored guest at group functions. While she might disagree, we actually have a lot in common; we are both mischievous, introspective, and require a lot of time alone (for starters). I recall several times when God has used Christi in my life at critical moments (unbeknownst to her). I would be in a completely different place if not for her. She has very much inspired our group of friends to go to new spiritual heights and reach for more in relationships with Jesus. Her struggles and musings have often been critical in my journey. I hope to see more of Christi next fall, it will be her last at ACU!
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